if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
