those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
