so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
