Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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