any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
