He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
