I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
