I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
