Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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