How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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