Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
His nipple licking is glorious
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