well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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