I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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