Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my being single is dangerous.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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