I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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