awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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