She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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