3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
