I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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