i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
