The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
