I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
