Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
