She is in my trunk
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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