i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I want to be your penis for a week.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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