rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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