This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
