so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
