Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
