Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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