i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
