using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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