i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
