What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
