It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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