Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
