You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
false alarm, still single
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
