you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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