Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
