Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
