Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
