isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
