She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
