I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
