just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
