Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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