hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
