her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
