got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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