i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
honey bunches of taint.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We have started to decorate penises.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
