a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
